"I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am rich, I am that bitch." - Young Baby Tate
Earlier this year, I had the chance to review some of my older articles. I was shocked and embarrassed by how raw those articles were, like I know this place is called Honestly Sis! But I couldn’t believe that I was that honest. Some articles brought me to tears because I remembered how I felt writing them. It hit me that this space has become a digitized archive of my life, work, and journey thus far. For the last four years, we have been through a lot together! Pandemics, break-ups, the family falls out, and everything in between. Through it all, you have been there for me!
During the review, I realized that I had accomplished some of my goals in this short amount of time together! Some of them include reaching and exceeding the goal of a hundred people for Honestly Sis. Getting published on XoNecole, having Roxane Gay say that she loved my work and, of course, the amazing Astro & Trees event! But my biggest blessing is my beautiful American Bull Terrier, Cudi. If you have been here since day one, you know that he was my very first wish in this space! He has been my greatest manifestation to date and has helped me through some of my darkest moments in life.
There is power in saying your dreams out loud. Even more so in writing things down. The journey of Honestly Sis has helped me understand why Oprah says, “the best gift you can give yourself is time!” For years I have been searching and trying to make things work. Each time I have gotten my feelings hurt. I have moved on from applying for accounting jobs. But I haven't stopped applying for jobs, and guess what? I've gotten the same result. Leaving me to believe that maybe instead of trying to change things- I should do theone thing that I haven't tried- sticking to the plan. Accepting the cards that I have been dealt and committing to my path.
This journey has taught me that I have to see things through to completion to see if something will work. There is no other way. In The Alchemist, the single thought that kept The Shepherd moving forward is that he can always go back. But it's the complete opposite for me. I have to move forward. These last four years have taught me that indecision leads to stagnancy. If I continue to go back and forth and search for a better way, how can I ever truly move forward and see progress? That's why I have decided that I will put these principles into action and trust my intuition to lead me to the life of my dreams. A few years ago, WBEZ created a podcast called Making Oprah.
On the podcast, Oprah said that the number one thing that contributed to her success for The Oprah Show was that she ran her race. She didn’t care what the “competition” was doing or what the industry wanted. She created the show she wanted to see. I believe that she allowed her gut and intuition to lead. Now I’m going to do the same thing. It is no secret that I want to leave my mark on the world. I have had ideas for projects and ways to expand Honestly Sis for years. But I would either half-ass them or not follow through at all. No more. My fears can't go where I'm headed.
Becoming the person I want to be will require courage and me putting myself out there. It’s not going to be an overnight process. But I believe that I can make it happen with a plan, time, and effort. In the Alchemist, there was a part where The Shepherd's life was on the line. The Shepherd was given the task to turn himself into the wind within three days. The Shepherd had no idea how he would do it. But after three days, a sand storm occurred, and he was able to do the impossible. Though I am not standing in the desert, I am asking God to do the same thing. To make the impossible possible.
I have no connections to the publishing world and Hollywood. Despite having my manuscript, I often feel trapped because of this accounting shit. But I don’t want to just be a dreamer or a talker. It’s not enough for me to just talk about it anymore. I want to live it and experience it. For that to happen, I have to trust God. I have to believe that my destiny wasn’t decided when I picked a major back in college. I have to believe that everything will get better as I become whole and healed. I simply have to believe. I believe that The Shepherd was able to turn himself into the wind because he completely surrendered to God. At the age of thirty-two, I have absolutely nothing to lose, and I’m going to do the same thing! So for the sake of documentation, I am declaring that:
By the age of forty, I will be settled in my career. I will have a family of five that is beautiful on the inside and out. My husband will be handsome, wealthy, loyal, and supportive of me as a wife, mother, and businesswoman. I will be a global best-selling author with my books translated into over fifty different dialects. I will have at least two of my books turned into movies and have traveled around the globe at least once! Honestly Sis will be a globally recognized brand and I would have worked with at least two people from my dream collaborators list. All while secretly having a screenplay under my belt ready to shop. My dream is hella ambitious, but I don’t believe that it is impossible.
I have learned that while goals and dreams, sound fanciful. It's really just a way to focus your attention in life. I have realized that no matter if Honestly Sis has a hundred- million reads a week or three. It brings me joy, and it gives me purpose. The connections that I have been able to make here have meant everything to me, and I know all of this goodness has to lead to something! In 2022, this is the chapter of my life; I will do things differently. I am going to give myself grace and run my race. I am trusting God to help me turn my dreams into a reality. I am putting my life in God's hands and surrendering gracefully.
I have no idea where these next few years will take me. But what I can promise you is one thing: I will be writing to you every step of the way! So, I promise you no more whining or wishing that things were different. I am moving forward and getting back to my roots of just having fun! I finally believe that my best days are ahead of me!
I challenge you to believe the same- because it’s never too late for God to make the impossible possible.
-AM
JOURNAL PROMPT:
Do you believe in miracles?
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